Hello World! Mabel is my name. 20 on 5th Nov. CHIJ-Our Lady of Good Counsel. PeiCai Secondary. Republic Polytechnic. Dip in New Media Grad. Singapore
___::time flies::
Friday, March 24, 2006
initially i wanted to post this hour ago, but i was busy with my stuffs.hahax.
44 mins ago,it was still 23rd March 2006.i remember clearly what happened on this day 3 years ago.it was a sunday.st john (that was my cca at that time, in sec 3) had some activity.we were suppose to go down to some place for rehearsal, for some passing out parade thing, if i have not mistaken.on the way to the hospital, i was debating to go or not to.because based on what the doctor said the night before, "there is a high chance he might not be able to pull through the next day."so my mom, grandmom, and all were mentally preparing already.that night i didn't want to sleep through.i was scare that when i wake up,it will be the next day and he will be gone.i wan him to stay on longer, so did everyone.
but eventually,though i didn't sleep through the night, the morning still came. all of us except my mom, went to the hospital first, because she wanted to come home to collect my dad's final journey's clothing.so upon reaching my grandmom was alittle hungry, so we decided to grab a bite at the canteen.awhile later we head up for the ward.he was barely awake.but mayb he was fully conscious too, because he was still very aware of the surroundings when the nurse questioned him.about 1/2 hr later,i thought he would be alright for a few more hours,so i decided to report back to school, informing my teacher-in-charge that i will not be able to attend the rehearsal because of this.
you might be thinking why did i risk this chance of bidding farewell to him, and seeing him alive for the last time, to make a trip back to school.
well..i did tried to contact my other friends to help me pass on this msg to my teacher, but some of them refuse because they felt that this responsibility was too heavy for they to carry, while others' phone line got engaged or cant get through.i still remember one of my friends did not turn on her cellphone,so i called her house only to get her mom on the receiver.upon hearing what happened, her mom promised to help me get her to tell me teacher.i thanked her.
nevertheless,my cousin sped through the highway but halfway through, the nurse called my aunt, whom was with me at that time, only to be told "he is not going to make it,please come asap."of course at that point of time,even a dumbie will know the situation is very critical.hurriedly my cousin made the nearest u-turn and woah~! we were back in the hospital.
at the ward, his eyes were already 3/4 closed.i am not even sure if he knew i came.but i was told by my mom that he is still semi-conscious.so hopefully he still saw me for the last time.awhile later, the machine "measuring" the heartbeat made a single long 'beep'.i knew at that time he was gone.he left the world at that minute,that second.nurses and doctor rushed it, we were chased out from the bedside,only to be told to wait outside the curtains.so.again a while later, the curtains were drawn, the doctor expressed his words of consolations to us. a nurse stayed behind to help my mom to change the clothes for my dad.
everyone teared.
till now 3 years later,i still have a longing for him,though i sometimes i dream of him.having the feeling of your beloved leaving you,is one of the last things i will want to have.this is not a common affair for most people of my age.
after this 'incident' i would say, my life was scarred.i lost a father since that day.i lost fatherly-love that day.i felt that my family was never complete ever since.and each time we went out as a family, i feel sad.because we are short of 1 member.certain places he brought us to, we never went again.certain things he did, we never do again.certain styles of way he did things, we never do it the same again.things just change that day.
but there again,life goes on.
now when i look back at that day,i felt that it was just yesterday.
o manx.i took about 50 mins to write this post.hahax.its 1:27am now.and i m hungry.hahax.
