gentlegem.blogspot

*My choice...

Friday, June 30, 2006

hmmm....
maybe its time for me to decide which route should i take.

should i listen to mabel?
or should i .... ?

shall think about it. this time i can't regret. i can't go back.
and once my decision is made, please remind me at all times to follow it. =x
if i don't, you guys can just punish me any way u like, kae?
=X

came across this song.
Xiao Xiao - Wo Bu Zhu De Ta

meaningful huh~

because of you*

Written at
1:55 AM

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*xiang bai tuo xi guan bu tai rong yi

Thursday, June 29, 2006

still silly after she knows she is silly.

Written at
11:55 PM

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Kelly Pan Jia Li - Ai Wu Li

DSAG finally submitted.
OOAD done, but not yet submitted.

OPSY due next monday, 8am. -.-
and lastly will be DBSY which will be due on 26th July. 3 and 1/2 more weeks to do?
haiiiiiiiiis. this semester is so tough!

mummy is sick for 4 days already.
seriously ill~

hear her cough and cough and cough.
the coughing is really terrible. hear already also scared.
see her eat only 1/4 potion of her food.
the terrible look on her face.
the number of times she went to see the doctor...
the amount of medicine she has to take...
omg.

makes me so worried.

and this morning i saw how loving my dad and mom are.
hehehehehex.

my mom was very uncomfortable. so she went to lie on the bed.
when my dad came out of the bathroom, he walked towards her and sayang her. hahas.
then he saw the fan on, he INSISTED to off it no matter how hard my mom tried to stop him.

and when i reached home from school,
the phone rang 2 times within 10 minutes =x

he must be very worried about her being alone at home.

now that he know i'm back,
the phone didn't ring anymore.
LOL.

pray for speedy recovery for mummy~
GET WELL SOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~

loves her family & friends.

jingying! jingying! jingying!

not again!!!

whats wrong...

can i?

*i hate projects!!!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

i hate projects manns~
just completed OOAD with my groupmates.
and still in school doing DSAG. -.-"

and so tired after seeing all the codings!
headache! headache! headache!
*YAWNNS*

but i'm quite enjoyed lahs. (physically) lols.
eating chocolate pocky. *YUMMY*
listening to mp3 using my laptop, while using the school computer for assignment.

and...
this lab is full of Malays. =X
its like only 4 Chinese in the whole lab.
not that i'm racist. lols.
but they are so noisy!
on the music so loud. DISTURBING US!
-.-

P.S. MABEL! when are you going to blog! =x

*yawnns

Written at
6:21 PM

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SONG UPDATED.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Cyndi Wang - Wo Hui Hao Hao De

Written at
5:27 PM

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nobody can understand the feeling that i've been having for the whole day.
i just feel like staring into space and do nothing.
i'm so tired of everything that i wish to wash away my memories.

i may carry a smile on my face.
but who knows that the heart inside is shattered and hurting me each and every seconds.
my eyes look alright.
but my tears are rolling down non-stop.

i simply cannot figure out why after about 2 months, i became so dependent on him.
so upset that i wasn't feeling well for the whole time.
haiis.

anyway,
thanks to all my friends.
after what happened, i realised friends are still the best.
they never leave, they are always there for you without fail.

mingpei darling
sorry to give you 2 shocks early in the morning.
and thanks for being there for me.

wanting darling
thanks for the console.

shan rong
can tell you are worried and concern about me during lessons.
thank you. i'm alright.

jookiah
you made me so touched and proud to have you as a good friend.
i can sense your care and concern.
i can tell how much you wanted to accompany me for the day.
but i'm sorry that i'm too tired to meet you after your school.

raney
you sounded so concern about me when you heard that i was at the void deck using my laptop and kept volunteering to go walk walk with me.
i'm thankful for that.
but i'm just not in the mood to walk.
moreover, i am not really feeling well.
andddd... don't worry. i will treasure my life 1. lols. i'm just joking about those stuffs =X and even if the ball really hits me, i also won't die what. =x

if you don't mean it in the heart,
then you shouldn't have say all the sweet stuffs to me that night.

wo hui hao hao de.

within a night,
so many things happened.
i was so lost and helpless.
first time i ever have such a feeling.

i know after that sms,
i will lose him forever.

i was so happy when we had a new start.
my friends felt happy for me too.
i wish to see you, to own your hugs, to do everything that involves you.
but... this happiness was short enough before i could even do those.

i actually intended to keep that weird feeling in me.
however, i feel that since we were together, i should be honest with him.
and there, i told him how i feel.

that was when i made a big wrong move.

"it would be better if we remain as friends." you said.

"maybe... my feelings for you had already faded." you also said.
maybe in the first place, you already had no more feelings towards me.
but you were so touched by my words that you decided to accept that new story.

i was so upset throughout the night.
my heart was jumping fast, which i had no idea why.
but it was so uncomfortable that i felt like vomitting.
my tears kept rolling down like a tap.
however i couldn't close this tap at all.
i was up throughout the night. with only that FEW minutes of sleep.
first time i didn't sleep at all.

i won't blame him at all.
'cause i know deep down in my heart, i couldn't.
i know i was to blame 'cause i didn't cherish him at the beginning.
everything was too late.

its all to be deleted from my memories.
kept deep in the heart and sealed up.
i will learn to let go this time.

my friends,
if you see me, please don't console me.
'cause i'm afraid i will cry.
and don't try to cheer me up.
'cause i won't be able to smile.

let me cool down and accept this fact slowly.

broke down.

JJ Lin Jun Jie - Hui You Na Me Yi Tian

why don't my parents believe me?
trust me enough?

do i need to voice out all my thoughts to let you know that i'm sensible enough to handle my own stuffs?

haiis.

nowadays so irritated.
work.
projects.
love.
parents.

i'm feeling so exhausted. mentally especially.
how i wish i can stay away from the whole world just for a few days.
this world is just so complicated.

exhausted.
"am i important in your heart?"
~~how come i don't feel anything from you this time.~~
haiiis~

*to darling.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

mingpei darling!
if you ever need a listening ear, i'll be there for you 24/7.
if you ever need a hug, i'll send it without 2nd thought.
whatever decision you make, i'll be there to support.
(:

*HUGS*

yours truly.

Written at
2:35 AM

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*photos~

Saturday, June 24, 2006

just installed photo impression into my laptop.
and i went to edit photos.
lols.

i edited my own photo before wanting's.
and i realised hers nicer lahs. -.-

but nevermind.
my credits.
hahahahahas!! =p

Written at
2:04 AM

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*a new beginning...

Friday, June 23, 2006

6th months ago,

we met each other for the first time.

6th months later,

we start our new story.

i don't know if this will be a much better one.
but i chose to believe.

however,
there are so many fears in me.
i'm afraid that one day you might regret.
i'm afraid one day you will leave.
i'm afraid my nightmare will turn out to be real.

it feels so different now.

people says love is selfish, isn't it?
so...
can you assure me that i am the one and only in your heart?

a very big thank you to all these friends who have been there for me when i was down. (:
- Mingpei darling
- Wanting darling
- Mabel
- Shan Rong

your stupid girl.

Written at
9:53 PM

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i thought you were the one i could rely on.
i thought you were the one i could find my happiness from.
i thought you were the one who will be there for me every seconds and minutes.

but maybe i was wrong.

i could no longer find my happiness from you.
i could no longer hold on to you.
i could no longer depend on you.

you chose to leave me.
given the reason because you don't want to hurt me.

but never did you know that this hurt was so much painful than anything else.

i teared till my eyes run dry.
i tossed and turned throughout the night.
but no matter how many times i told myself ITS OVER, ITS OVER AND ITS OVERRRRRRRRR!!
i still couldn't let go.
i still love you that much.
i still couldn't blame you at all.

i split out all my feelings.
how much i miss you.
how much i wish for you.
how much i want to be with you.

it all turns out to be disappointment and tears.

before i told you how i feel,
i was so prepared to be a 24 hours good girlfriend to you.
i was so eager to start a new, happy and never-ending story with you.
i was so confident to make all problem extinct between me and you.

why wouldn't you believe that i can do that?
why wouldn't you give yourself and me a chance to do that?

i chose to accept every single thing about you.

but you were suspicious about it.

well, there is nothing i can do.

but if you choose to leave,
make it complete.
don't keep any feelings of me.
tell me you don't love me anymore.

and i will tell you FRIENDS FOREVER, even if i couldn't let go.

broken heart.

i regretted telling you my blanks.
why would you want to find out more when thats what you wanted to tell me.
i hate that sentence.

i hate this world.

i'm shivering badly.
tears kept rolling down.
i hate myself.

~~3 reasons.~~

Because ... I'm jealous.
Because ... I'm afraid to lose you.
And Because ... I still love you.

~~hoping you will at least try to make a guess.~~
~~'cause i said that will be the last hope i give myself.~~
i was so soft-hearted after my friends told me some 'things'.
~~shan't say what are the 'things'.~~

but there, i filled in my blanks. just for you.

~~i wish to be weak forever,~~
~~if there is someone to take care of me.~~
and in my heart that 'someone' is you

*down

Thursday, June 22, 2006

lend me a shoulder.
and i only want yours.

Thanks mingpei darling.
i can't help but dropped a tear after reading what you said in your blog.
thanks for your concern. i'm alright. (:

edited at 10.15pm

Written at
9:26 PM

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S.H.E (Selina) - Guan Bu Zhao

did i think of you too much until you appear in my dream?
not a sweet one, but a sad and terrible one.

its was so scary.
i learnt my lesson.
i got blamed 'cause i didn't cherish.

maybe heaven is telling me to what i should do.

i woke up, feeling afraid and sad.
and got a feeling.
our distances are further and further away.
if what happen in the dream is going to happen in real life,
then... .............. ...
i'm going to lose you even more......

woke up late today =x
heng shan rong smsed me. lols! if not i would be even later =x
yes. supposed to meet shan rong and zhi ying to do project at 11am.
but i woke up at 10am. -.-"
can't imagine how tired i was. lols!
i slept at 3am the night before 'cause i was sooo addicted to the Green Forest, My Home show. =X

so i rushed down to S'goon MacDonalds to meet them.
and... we started on our OOAD project.
soooooooooooooooo sian lahs.
hate projects manns!
not only gotta rush for OOAD.. but also OPSY, DSAG and DBSY!
practically every core modules. -.-"
haiiis~~

then,
i took 105 to Wanting darling's house bus stop and waited for her so long again!
bu kui shi WAN TING sia. =x
lols!
and we took 58 and changed to MRT all the way to Woodlands, where we meet Mabel~

and off we headed to PARTYWORLD.
hahahas!
so siao there.
took lots and lots of photos also.
there was this waiter who is quite nice-looking. and WT suggested to take a photo of him.
so we waited and waited for him to bring the drinks in... but in the end, it turns out to be another waitress~ lols!
then he came again! to collect the bill.
and this time "click!". there goes the camera flash~
WT actually took a shot RIGHT IN FRONT of him lahs. lols!!! and he was so shy. he said he come back later to collect the bill. haahaahahas!

and so we sang from 5+ right up to 9+....
bought breads to eat.
and home sweet home~

well,
2 more person to thank! =X

this time, THANKS to:

Zhi Ying
for the cute little photo frame. (:

and also...

Shan Rong
she said she wanted to buy me the earring i saw at Far East which was something similar to what i saw on Yahoo Auction. but she couldn't find. and just so coincidental that day when she was trying to find that earring at Far East, i met her there when i was having my break from work. HAHA! no wonder she got the super shock face when i approached to say hi to her =X
and because she couldn't find the shop, she bought this box with a mirror inside for me!
the reason being i got a lot of accessories.. LOL.
so its a box for me to put all my accessories! =D
so xi xing right~
such a sweetie~ =DDD

i love it~
the piggies are soooo cute. =D

and also,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAN RONG!!!
(:

there are so many june babies.
hahahas!!

am so tired.
niteeeeeeeex peeps! (:

misses you.

*more thanks to go~

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

more thanks to go.
lols!

THANKS to:
hannah
know this girl through Student Mart.
last time the whole group of us always very high at upper.
and she is so friendly! =)
i clicked with her very fast after i went to upper side.
awwwww~
miss those times manns~ that was like in december 2004?

hope to see ya in TP soon!
(:

asriman
so surprised you came to wish me happy belated birthday. hahas.
am so touched. (:
thanks thanks!

this year's birthday is the one which i really enjoyed most.
not only the surprise that the 8 friends gave me. but also, i got lotsa greetings from friends~ even friends whom i haven't been keeping in contact with.
and also some friends whom i know from work.
yeaaa~
am so so so sooooo touched.
(:

i'm so crazy about a new Taiwan drama nowadays.
-.-"
Green Forest, My Home.
Channel U is playing it now. every wed to fri, 7pm.
but bling introduced me to watch it in youtube. hahas.!!
its SO NICE~ =DDD

i'm addicted to dramas~
ohh mannns~

thanks all her friends~
:)

Written at
2:32 AM

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*MY 18th BIRTHDAY!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

i have a GREAT day yesterday! =DDD *grins*
an unforgettable 18th birthday indeed.

i woke up around 7.10 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep cause i was very hungry =X
so i climbed outta my bed and cooked myself maggi mee to eat.
and after that, i was online all the way waiting for Wanting darling to come my house.
and she took so long!!!! =x
she told me she will reach around 1+
in the end i waited from 1+ to 3+ okays! lols.
and i was already well-prepared. edwin asked me for a photo of myself (the reason being he miss me too much)
LOL!!!
yea. so i SPECIALLY took a photo...
and send it to him.

hahas!
EDWIN! do you like it?
specially for you lehs. =p
see! i'm so good to you!
*bleahs*

yupps.
and after Wanting darling reached...
she gave me the gifts she bought from perth! =D

so cute.
hahas!
I LOVE THE SWEETS and the HUGEEEE pencil soooo much! =DDD

thanks darling!!!

and after we are done with her show, her makeup, the distribution of sweets...
off we go to suntec!

as what we planned earlier on,
we decided to eat the steamboat there on my birthday.
so....

there we enter... Joaquim!
=)

our steamboat~
our desserts (cakes, DIY ice-kachang, ice-cream)~

happily eating away~~~
lols!
and was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO full.
and THANKS TO DARLING!
she do all the prawns nicely for me to eat!
WUAHAHAHA! i'm such a spoilt child. =X

*TOUCHED*

our nice plate of prawns.
lols!
(done by WT)

after our delicious dinner~ =D
and off we go with Mabel, who claims that she wanna show us something very nice that she saw.

.
.
.
and we ended up in the courtyard, next to Toy'R'Us.
and there....
.
.
.
I SAW MY "FAMILY"!
lols!
yes, it was a huge surprise planned by them.
but somehow i already guessed it here and there =x
i'm too clever lahs! =X cause i find some suspicious points that mabel accidentally leaked out =x
she used 'WE' instead of 'I'.
she asked me what's my biggest birthday wish.
she wanna bring me to a shop when the whole of Suntec is closed/closing!
lols!!!
anyway, even though i sort of guess it already, i was still very touched... dumbfounded... and stunned! lols. i really stood there don't know how to react. hahahas!

and thank you sooo much, mabel!
i been craving for this cake for dayyyyyyys!!
lols!
she went from Causeway Point all the way to Bukit Panjang just to get this!
awwwwwwww~~~
how can i not be touched right!

the yummyyyyyyyyy and AI XIN cake!

Me and Wanting darling~
do we look like couple?
WUAHAHAHA! but we are STRAIGHT! =p

Me and Bling! =)
the one who gave me 2 hugs and 1 kiss.
lols!

Me and Bel, the sweetie of the day! =D

Me and Fee, the Brazil-siao~ =x
she said she "flew" all the back from Brazil to celebrate for me. lols! (you believe?) =x

Me and Zhejun~
the 20th june birthday girl!

Me and Kelvin~
the one who thought of the romantic place. lols!

Me and Chuan Xiang, the joker there~ =x

and lastly,
Me and Shan An~
thanks for taking this photo even though your eye hurts so much. =)
get well soon!

the group photo~
(:
everyone is happy! =D

there are a lot more photos. but i'm unable to post them up, cause its lagging already =x
we got THREE cameras there. and i already got 110 photos on my side. Wanting got around 130. OMGGGGG~ we are so zi lian.. LOL!!!

thanks peeps for the card =)
its ME TO YOU bear! hahas. my favourite card

and not forgetting to thank my Mingpei darling for this lovely cherry necklace~
the very first present i received!

and this huge 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' you drew in MSN. lols!

weeeee~
and thanks to those who sent me their greetings~
Jookiah, Edwin, Sijie, Ron, Flannery, Hui Yi, Ziwei, Wen Zhong, CunZheng, Aizat, Jim Kay, Selina, Hui Xian, ZhengHui, Tony, Shin Ling, Xiao Shuang, Eric, Raney, Adelin, Angie, Cyndee, MiZhun, ChangXiang, Lee Lin, Shan Rong, Grace, Yu Zhen, Ying Ping, Jian Ming, Felicia, Puay Khim, Shi Yun, Shu Ling and Jian Wei.

special thanks to:
Mingpei Darling
the endless of 'happy birthday' and 'happy belated birthday' you said to me. lols!
Wanting Darling
the delicious steamboat especially the prawns. lols! and helping me to finish up when i only ate a little bit. hahahas! i was REALLY full lahs. stomach almost explode! =x
and also thanks for the presents you bought all the way from Perth! =D
Mabel buddy
the surprise you planned. and also the cake you bought.
really really really touched. lols!
LOVE YA lots!
Fidelia, PohLeng, ZheJun, ChuanXiang, Kelvin Tan, Shan An
thanks for coming and the preparation of the surprise! =D

i just want to shout out THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU to ALL OF YOU!
this day will be marked deep in my heart, i swear!
hehex! =DDD

and LASTLY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZHEJUN!!!

in her sweet 18teen (:

Written at
3:00 PM

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