Hello World! Mabel is my name. 20 on 5th Nov. CHIJ-Our Lady of Good Counsel. PeiCai Secondary. Republic Polytechnic. Dip in New Media Grad. Singapore
what shld i do*
Sunday, March 26, 2006
when i thought i was okay and could come up with a decision soon... i started to feel moody again.
sitting down in front of the computer, i have no idea how should i begin this post.
firstly, i shall thank all my friends who are concern about me. ::Wanting:: i can see how much effort you put in to try to cheer me up. each time i was quiet, you will ask if im okay. you tell me jokes to make me laugh. you made my day better after my terrible bus journey to meet you. ::Mingpei:: you gave me advices and console. you told me understanding is a process in a relationship. you told me problems are never ending and i should solve it together with him so that we can be happy forever. ::Mabel:: though i did not tell you anything, you offer to lend a listening ear when you read what i posted. thank you girls~
*to HIM i don't know if i was wrong to start this relationship in the first place. when i told you i don't feel that i need a boyfriend now... i know it will give you a feeling that i am taking your love for granted. but somehow, i don't mean that. i don't know how to explain, but i know it gives you the wrong idea. or maybe everybody who read that will get that impression. remember you asked me, "then in the first place why did you accept me?"... i felt so speechless after seeing that. its no doubt that i accepted you because i like you. but when you asked me that, i feel that you are blaming me for accepting you in the first place and yet, breaking your heart now. well, i know you don't mean that.. but it just gave me that feeling. maybe i am giving myself too much stress in trying to be a good girlfriend to you, and also to make you happy. and that might be the reason why each time when you say you were disappointed, i felt terribly stressed and tired.
every single day that we went out or met up is still deep down inside me. its the best memory that i can ever have. i feel weird holding on to my handphone without our hp keychain. i feel weird walking alone on the same path that we walked together before. it seems like everything i see reminds me of you...
you sound pretty alright in your sms today. but i don't know if its only the surface of you. just praying hard that you will get better each day...
